Let's Talk About Money, Baby

Mamihood, Writing, and Money: Moving Past My Money Shame & Crafting a Creative Life I Love

Recently my friend, poet and scholar Raina J. León, had her essay "On Labor's Value" published in the VIDA Review.
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In it, Raina asks: "When and for what should I be paid? And when I am not offered compensation, to what will I say no in favor of my family, my art, my life?"

For Raina (as for me and others I'm sure) so many of these questions -- which have always been there -- have taken on a new urgency since the birth of her child. Raina explains:
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"How do I also negotiate between the labor maternal and the labor that takes me away from my son so that I can creatively express myself and also be compensated for that expression and thereby provide for my son? In short, how do I get paid and provide for my household for the labor that takes me away from my son?"
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My question is: shouldn't we all be asking (and searching for answers to) those same questions alongside her?

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*Full Disclosure: This blog post contains affiliate links. If you use my links I may earn a commission on qualifying purchases at no cost to you.

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ON LABOR & CREATIVITY'S VALUE

In "On Labor's Value" Raina also describes her first payment for her writing:

$8 at age 22.

This sparked my own memory: I earned my first $1 for a haiku at age 29.

(That little poem went on to win "best in issue" along with a prize of $50! Woohoo! That's like the haiku jackpot!).

That is all to say what we've already known: poetry (by itself) doesn't pay.

Which is followed by my own truth: I don't write my poems so that they can make me money.

I write them whether they do or not.

I'm not saying writers don't need to be paid for their labor.

They 100% should be paid.

​I'm just saying that I'm writing poems and essays whether I get paid or not. I'm sharing my writing whether I get paid or not. *For me* my writing is not the thing I'm going to rely on for steady income. It's just not.

I think about what Elizabeth Gilbert says in Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear:
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“But to yell at your creativity, saying, 'You must earn money for me!' is sort of like yelling at a cat; it has no idea what you’re talking about, and all you’re doing is scaring it away, because you’re making really loud noises and your face looks weird when you do that.” ​
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In a FB post, she goes into more detail, adding:

"This is why I made a promise to my writing life when I was about 15 years old. I said to writing:
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"I will never ask you to provide for me financially; I will always provide for YOU.""
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Her words ring true for me. I don't want to put earning pressure on my writing, but I DO want to be compensated for some of the work I do in the world. 

My labor--creative, maternal, mental, emotional, nurturing -- is worthy of compensation.

So what does this look like for me? For what kinds of labor do I feel comfortable charging? How are others in my creative communities navigating these questions?

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On Fear & Shame

I'm glad we're having these conversations. They're necessary but also scary because we're all starting from different places, have different needs (financial and emotional), have different relationships to our work and to money, and have different overall goals.

Mostly these conversations are scary because talking about money is uncomfortable and doing so pokes at our shame.
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• I'm ashamed I have so much more than others, so I don't feel like I have the right to talk about this.

 

• I'm ashamed that so much of what I have is because of my spouse's income and my inner feminist is up in her feelings about that, even though I know we're a partnership and our resources are shared. (Sidenote: The Bezos divorce has opened up some great conversations around this topic of marriage, distribution of labor, and money. Read, for example, "Will Jeff Bezos Get Half of MacKenzie Bezos's Fortune in the Divorce?")

 

• I'm ashamed because as together as this all looks on the surface, our money game is not where we want it to be (ahem debt), and I'm sometimes scared and ashamed to admit that.

 

• I'm ashamed because this home we love is also a money pit. In the last five years of homeownership: foundation work, termites, leaky roof, oh my!

 

• I'm ashamed because I haven't had a "real" fulltime job since 2007. Because a decade in academia without benefits or retirement accounts and being paid in stipends / fellowships doesn't feel like it "counts." Similarly, a few years adjuncting part-time, earning just enough to "contribute" to the household doesn't always feel like it "counts."

And yet, I know that the last two years with my kid have contributed financially in the form of childcare savings, with the added benefit of having filled my cup. I love being home and taking the lead on activities with our kiddo. It suits me and has been labor I've (mostly) loved.

As we've added a few hours of childcare into the mix, I'm re-calibrating and sorting out the balance of time for my art and time for income generating activities. These need not be mutually exclusive -- I'm open to having my art earn income, but I'm not relying on it.

Instead, I'm taking a proactive approach to finding ways to earn money that align with some of my personal goals of :

Amplifying Puerto Rican and underrepresented voices
while supporting aspiring & emerging writers
through my writing, teaching, and advocacy.
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I don't have answers for anyone else, but since last year, the answers are becoming clearer for me, and in the spirit of transparency and bringing these conversations to the forefront, I want to share what I've learned, what preliminary steps I've taken, and what I'm planning for 2019. ​
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MONEY MINDSET SHIFTS & FINDING MY PEOPLE

One of the turning points for me came last March when my CyberBookClub "read" the audiobook You are a Badass at Making Money: Mastering the Mindset of Wealth by Jen Sincero.

This book hit me like woah. So many stumbling blocks I had around money came up to the surface, and I began thinking about ways to reshape my relationship with money. I also started brainstorming new ways I could earn money (both short and long term) that accounted for my reality as a stay-at-home mom.

One point Jen Sincero makes is that: "When it comes to money, who and what you surround yourself with has a huge effect on how you perceive it and feel about it."

I realized that earning money was not going to look the same for me as for the other women in my book club -- both full-time engineers -- so I started looking for other models.

I searched for models who mirrored living a creative life while talking straightforwardly about the money piece. I also wanted a few models who could address the particularities of staying home with a young child.

That is all to say I was looking at the entrepreneurial side of my creative life more closely and I was in search of some guidance from others who could light the way. 

I began to find "my people" by listening to podcasts. Here are a few of my favorites:

• Writer Mom Life Podcast
• The Creative Penn Podcast
• Smarty Pants Book Marketing Podcast​

The podcast listening led to some good reads, including The Business of Being a Writer by Jane Friedman.

​She reminds us that:

"It's common to hear writers objecting to career building activities... Such thinking reflects a romantic approach, not to mention privilege. It is a luxury to have time to write but not bear responsibility for bringing attention to one's writing. It is a luxury, especially if they're emerging, and especially if they intend to pursue writing as a full-time living"
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I didn't have what I would call a "business," but The Business of Being a Writer and Joanna Penn's podcast The Creative Penn Podcast both convinced me that all authors could benefit from an entrepreneurial mindset.

At minimum, us authors should care about knowing how to best protect our copyright / intellectual property and about the basics of book marketing, so we can be effective advocates for our books as they make their way in the world.

I wanted more frank conversations about all of these new (for me) ideas I was engaging with, but there were a few stumbling blocks for me. 

On the one hand, most of the creatives I knew weren't talking about the money piece in depth or out in the open (one notable exception is Lisbeth Coiman who writes a regular series called "Writing on a Budget" for the Women Who Submit blog).

And, on the other hand, most of my other friends have jobs in more traditional workplaces, not the creative and/or online entrepreneur space.

Since the space I wanted didn't exist, I started a small private facebook group with a few writer friends, so we could share our experiences navigating writing and money.

This was a valuable first step, but we were all kind of figuring things out as we went, and I still wanted more guidance. I wanted some frameworks, advice, and some kind of roadmap to help me chart a course that felt right for me.
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ORIGIN: A NEW FRAMEWORK
​FOR CREATIVE & ENTREPRENEURIAL WOMEN

In May I stumbled upon a paid membership community for entrepreneurial women called Origin that felt like the kind of community I so craved.

In Origin Kate Northrup teaches frameworks that include what she calls Self-Sourced Scheduling, the 4 Phases of Creation, and the Upward Cycle of Success. She teaches women how to tap into their own cyclical nature, honor their energy, and make space for not only for production but also for rest. Her approach resonated deeply with where I was in my life as a creative, a mother, and a budding entrepreneur. 

I felt strongly that I needed to connect with other ambitious women who were not afraid to discuss money but also rest, so I took the leap and I joined Origin ($37/month or $407 annual fee (less than the cost of two or three yoga classes at my favorite local studio)).

I've already benefited immensely from the monthly offerings in Origin: "How-To" Lessons, Masterclasses, Astrological Weather Updates, and Live Q&As.

But mostly I've learned so much from the community's diverse members, women (including a few authors!) who are creating or growing their online businesses while juggling all the other demands that life throws their way.

Watching and connecting with them has helped me chart my future path, on my own terms, and at my own rate, with a lot of support at my fingertips.

As I shared recently on FB, I've used Kate's framework to approach a number of projects since last May and the approach has made me feel successful even at what feels like a slow and steady pace:

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RESULTS... A WORK IN PROGRESS

 So what has all this thinking about creativity and money translated into?

Honestly, not a whole lot of money (yet!)... in fact just a few hundred dollars for the year. 

That said, I DO feel that I am laying the foundation for money-making activities that are aligned with the creative projects that are near and dear to my heart without burdening my art itself with having to do the heavy lifting in terms of earning.

I know that these entrepreneurial ventures (online course creation and teaching, for example) are taking some time away from my writing projects, but for now I'm ok with that because I would feel better about my creative pursuits if I knew I was contributing money towards helping fund those pursuits.

I'm hopeful that these efforts will pay off in the near future and over the long term.

I have considered returning to adjuncting part-time, but the income would likely just barely cover the number of hours of childcare I would need to make adjuncting work (prepping, teaching, and GRADING ahhhh GRADING), and the hours would leave little if any room for writing.

I could also search for a full-time job, but I love being home with our kiddo, so the trade off does not seem worth it until at least he's ready for elementary school.

This off-the-beaten path I'm taking of creating multiple streams of income, including teaching online, feels more exciting and potentially more fruitful in the long run.

And I haven't stopped writing, but I have poured a lot of my creativity this past year towards building a foundation for future income -- a terrifying and thrilling prospect.

At the same time, I'm hyper-aware of the privilege of being able to take the off-the-beaten path because of my spouse's steady income.

A few hundred -- or even a few thousand -- dollars a year does not a solid income make. If I had to earn more right now just to keep us afloat my choices would be vastly different because of the urgency.

I am eternally grateful for that steady income, and I never take it for granted.

I also believe we as creatives need to acknowledge the ways in which our relationships (of all kinds -- spouses, parents, friends, benefactors, institutions) provide important supports for our creative lives, whether that support is financial, emotional, professional, political, or any number of other forms of support.

We are hardly ever just writer geniuses squirreled away in a room creating our art. We rarely do this thing alone.

Perpetuating the "starving artist" myths -- especially in regards to financial support -- does a disservice to all writers and artists, especially aspiring artists with little financial support who mistake the structural inequality that is stacking the deck against them with some sort of personal failure. (Here's a great article on precisely this subject: "My Parents Give me $28,000 a Year")

I also don't pretend to suggests that my path will work for others.

​This is where I am and how I'm choosing to move through these questions at this point in my life.
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ON MY PLANS, REVENUE & MULTIPLE STREAMS OF INCOME

Below is a recap of my creative earnings in 2018 and my plans for 2019. 

In particular, I'm investing time in designing, launching, and teaching an online course on Author Websites. I've also lined up two live workshops on the topic, both of which are compensated gigs. 

Again, the majority of my labor (caring for my toddler) is unpaid -- at least in the traditional sense of not getting a paycheck in exchange for the caring work.

But during those 10-12 hours a week I now (since September) have that are dedicated to creating, I'm focussing my attention on a mix of:

• income generating activities

• creative expression and community building (blog posts, newsletter, social media, etc)

• and the deep work of crafting poems, essays, and picture books that I hope to eventually share with the world

The outline below covers earnings/revenue not "profit" because I don't outline the writing-related spending I did / investments I made this year (Origin membership, submission fees, courses taken, domain name, website upgrade, conference fees, and other costs associated with my "Business of Being a Writer"). Let's just say this was definitely an "in the red" year.
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One idea that Joanna Penn of The Creative Penn Podcast discusses a lot is the need for independent authors to create multiple streams of income as opposed to relying exclusively on income from book sales from one distributor.

​With that idea in mind, I used 2018 to explore and experiment with potential streams of income to help me plan for my bigger 2019 goals.
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2018 EARNINGS

Grants

• ([$5,000] Sustainable Arts Foundation -- I applied, and did NOT get this grant, but grant / contest/ residency money is definitely a part of my multiple streams of income strategy).

Fundraising

• $2,500 raised for Puerto Rico's Taller Salud (while this isn't income per se, one of the reasons I'd like to earn more is to give more, so raising funds in this way felt like it was contributing to my own financial picture).

Honoraria / Speaking Fees

• $200 Contest Judge Honorarium
• $100 Conference Presenter Honorarium

Writing

• $150 Magazine Article

Affiliate Income*

• 335 Points ($16.75 value) Passion Planner Affiliate Points can be applied towards the purchase of my next Passion Planner
• $12 Amazon Associates Affiliate Income (Book & Audiobook Recommendations). While the Return on Investment is really low with Amazon (I shared A LOT of books in 2018 and earned a measly $12 in commissions). I'll continue to use their affiliate links because it's an easy way to earn a little something on recommendations I will make anyway.  I'll also always encourage people to check books out from their library or shop local because the book recommendation is what matters most to me, not the commission. All of that being said, I don't recommend authors take up Amazon Affiliate links as a cornerstone of anyone's multiple streams of income (at least that has not been the most fruitful approach for me).

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Book Sales

• $20 Book Sale  (w/ $10 donated to that fundraising event where I was a featured reader) 

Note: For the first print run of Words or Water, I was paid in copies of Words or Water to sell or give away. I receive no royalties when people buy Words or Water online, BUT if they buy the collection through affiliate links on my website, I get a small advertising commission from Amazon.

So if you've been meaning to grab Words or Water, buy through any of the links on this site knowing that I will receive modest compensation for my creative labor when you do!
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2019 POTENTIAL STREAMS OF INCOME

Contest

• ([$5,000] Picture Book Manuscript Contest. I've submitted a MSS to a contest and we'll see what happens. Fingers crossed).

Honoraria / Speaking Fees

• $200 Honorarium for a Workshop
• $535 in kind Honorarium (Comped Conference Fee)

Writing

• $50 forthcoming for a poem accepted for publication
• $?? pitch and submit to both paid and unpaid markets aligned with my larger mission

Affiliate Income*

• $?? from Affiliates (I don't have a great sense yet of what will happen with the affiliate programs I've joined. Read more about affiliate income below).

Online Courses for Writers

• $TBD/participant: Your Author Website: (Re)Build The Author Website YOU Need Based on YOUR Writer Goals and Budget (Click on the link to get on the waitlist!)
• $25/participant: Write Your 2020 Into Existence

Book Sales

• $50-$100 Words or Water sales at conferences & events
• $?? Nuyorico, CA (thinking about republishing this collection as e-book & POD in 2019)
• 
  
  

*Note on Affiliate Income:
In 2018 I learned that one way people monetize their blogs and/or websites is by promoting products, services, courses, and other opportunities in exchange for a commission. Since I was already in the habit of recommending books, I thought this was an area worth looking into further. As it turns out, several products I already recommend or would be happy to recommend have affiliate programs.

The most ubiquitous (and the one that pays a pretty small commission) is Amazon. I encourage people to check out their books from the library or support their local bookstores, but IF they are planning to purchase from Amazon anyway, there's no reason not to use my link! :P

I've created a RESOURCES page on my website where people can check out my reviews of the products I swear by including:

Scrivener, Weebly, Mailerlite, Passion Planner, and Audible. 

I'm also a member of and now an affiliate for Origin, a paid membership for entrepreneurial women which opens its doors to new members a few times a year.
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Signing up and reviewing the products on my RESOURCES page was time intensive in terms of set up, but I hope over time I will earn some income while helping my people find tools that serve them well. Win. Win. Win.
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LAST THOUGHTS

2018 was a year of beginning to shift my money mindset (an ongoing project if there ever was one), and learning about the many ways I could translate my talents into income generating activities within the context of my life as a stay-at-home mom with a toddler. 

2019 is about narrowing in on the activities that most align with my big goals, and implementing some of the strategies I've learned to slowly grow a solid foundation that allows me to create, earn, and mother on terms that work for me and my family. 

I'm excited to keep you posted on where this journey takes me and want to hear about your path towards juggling creativity and money.

Tell me about your experience in the comments!
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BEFORE YOU GO

• ​Want to learn more about Origin? ​Watch the FREE Origin Workshop Videos (available for viewing until January 31st, 2019) to learn actionable strategies to help you have enough energy & time for what's most important to YOU!

• Origin's doors are open to new members only a few times a year, so if you are curious about joining, now is the time (doors open until 1/31):

• Check out my RESOURCES page to learn more about the products I use and recommend for Readers & Writers.

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